“Quit writing that blog and come help me have this baby!” - Emily Hahn (probably)

I do not think hospital food has ever been thought of as tasty. In fact, people often compare bland and tasteless food to hospital food because it is notorious for being a substandard option that people usually avoid. But since I have made it my mission on this blog to push the boundaries of food in my The Road Less Eaten series, and because of my second daughter’s recent birth, Wesley Medical Center is getting a review!

My daughter Rosemary was born back in May, but because we now have two under two (and a newborn to boot), I have been a little busy and have not finished this blog until recently - so sue me. 

I have actually had the pleasure of eating the Wesley cafeteria food on two occasions now - once for Clementine’s birth and once for Rosemary’s birth. In both instances, Emily strongly encouraged me to bring food in with us or get take-out (which I did, of course) but I did my best to eat in the hospital when I could. The cafeteria has breakfast from 6:00am-9:30am, lunch from 10:30am-1:30pm, closed 1:30pm-2:00pm, and dinner from 4:30pm-7:00pm. It really makes you wonder what happens during those hours not listed as “Closed.” 

When Clementine was born, we were obviously incredibly nervous about everything - any time Emily felt a contraction we were ready for the baby to come shooting out. Naturally, I did not stray far from the hospital room in anticipation of our baby coming. I did not want to miss anything! Things started to heat up around noon and it seemed like Emily was getting closer to delivering, our nurse (my Godmother, who also was present when I was born) said this was a good time for me to grab a quick lunch. She thought it was a good idea to keep my strength up (since I was doing so much work *wink*). I ran down to the cafeteria and grabbed a roast beef sandwich. When I came back, it seemed like there was a nurse convention taking place in our room. I scarfed down a semi-dry roast beef sandwich and stayed out of the way as best I could while the nurses ran around getting everything in order for the impending delivery. I can’t give you much of a review on the sandwich because I was so nervous for what was about to happen. Emily did not end up delivering for like another two hours, and all was well.

We were much better prepared for the birthing of Rosemary, maybe to the point of being overconfident. We swaggered in around 5:00am, got situated in our labor room, and spent all morning watching the Game Show Network. When my tummy started rumbling around 7:00am, I knew it was time to go check out the breakfast spread. From Wesley’s Labor and Delivery department, family and guests go down the elevator to the main floor and turn to the right to get to the cafeteria. I only had to ask for directions once this time! You head on down to Building 1, passing by staff dining, and find yourself in a decent sized cafeteria. There are cereal options and plenty of beverages to choose from, and then there is the hot breakfast line, which of course I headed toward. 

I got the Western Scrambled Eggs, a Golden Hash Browned Potato Patty, and a couple strips of bacon. All in all my bill was $5.65 - pretty reasonable for that spread! The eggs were pretty good with a decent flavor. I was shocked to realize they might actually have been real, fresh eggs, and not some sort of freeze-dried option. They had red and green peppers, onions, spinach, and ham. The bacon was clearly pre cooked but it had a nice flavor. The potato was decent, but not as crispy as I was hoping for on that Friday morning. There were some other delicious looking options on the line such as biscuits and gravy, but I knew I had to be light on my feet that day and ready for anything. Agile. Ready for anything.

While we were waiting for Rosemary to arrive (and of course lunch) I got to talking with our nurse about the hospital food. Yes, you guessed it, it was my Godmother again - Janis Hartman. While we were waiting, Emily (who could not eat solids) had a cherry popsicle and orange jello. She said the popsicle was “really good” and tasted “exactly like a snow cone." If you know me, I am a huge snow cone (technically shaved ice) guy, so I was hyped to hear that (I once asked for a shaved ice maker for Christmas and it was the best present I have ever received). The orange jello was average, I am sad to report. At one point during the action, your boy had a little light headed spell and nearly passed out. The nurses rushed me some apple juice, which was top notch and really hit the spot, so I figured I would report on that as well. I was sent to get some food in me so I could be ready and able to support Emily when the Big Event finally rolled around. So, down to the cafeteria I went.

Let me tell you, as excited as I was to relay all the lunch options at Wesley, I was even more excited when I realized that Chick-fil-A was there on Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays from 11:00am-2:00pm! I wanted to try some of the other yummy eats (like the salmon or chicken they offered) but those seemed more like dinner options to me, as heavily seasoned they were. They also had parsnips, potatoes, fried pickles, and fried mac n cheese - which all looked very dinner-like as well. There was not as long of a line for CFA as you find at the Rock and Central location, thankfully, and I was able to get a spicy chicken sandwich. I also got the fried pickles (someone there had told me they were really good) and Grandma’s peanut butter cookies - all for $10.38. 

The spicy chicken sandwich was good. It was not what I have come to expect from CFA when you get it straight from the restaurant, but it was fine. You can’t customize it at all and it is sitting in a little heated container, so I get it, not going to be the greatest sandwich you have ever had. But would I eat it again if I were there for a third baby? Absolutely. It definitely hit the spot and cleared my light head to be ready for the impending birth. The fried pickles were actually pretty good - they had a great crisp to them and maybe even a little kick in the spice department. I was honestly surprised at how good they were, I dipped them in some ranch and went to town. They were maybe a little cold, but hey, it is a hospital cafeteria so you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit. And, it goes without saying, the Grandma’s cookies SLAPPED.

That night after Rosemary was born (mom and daughter were both very healthy and it went very well), Emily convinced me to bring in some Dominos pizza. If you read my juice cleanse blog about 86 Cold Press, you know that she has been feeling Dominos pizza for a while now. She deserved it, so I happily brought her some. The next morning she was brought a breakfast tray - a little cheese omelette, bacon, some hash browns, 2% milk, orange juice, and some oatmeal (I think). Emily was not feeling it, and wanted Spangles instead, so to the drive-thru I went. But I had to try the hospital food as well since I was duty bound to report my findings to you, and let me tell you - the omelette, bacon, and hash browns were all really good! Like, I was shocked! The omelette once again seemed like real, fresh eggs, it had a good amount of cheese, and the other options complimented it well. I only took a few bites since I had also devoured some Spangles, but I would definitely order that again. 

Later that day, while Emily was waiting to be discharged, she had the pizza from the cafeteria (that everyone raved about). She reported back it was “pretty good” and the “best thing” she has had at Wesley, so I guess I would also highly recommend the pizza. All in all, the food at Wesley Medical Center was not as bad as one might think considering the general reputation of hospital cafeterias, and offers some pretty tasty options. I kind of wish I had spent a little more time there trying some of the other staff-made dishes, but maybe if Emily gets her wish and we have a third baby I can report back. Also, West-Side Rachel is editing this blog and she used to work at Wesley so by all means WSR, fill us in with any other deets!

***A note from West-Side Rachel***

As a former night-shifter, I grew very familiar with the grilled-cheese sandwiches and chicken tender entrees that were staples of the cafeteria’s 2:00AM offerings. Although I never got to enjoy a CFA spicy chicken sandwich during my lunch breaks, I can say that a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit at 7:00AM was often the perfect way to end a 12-hour shift.